Nothing Like That
by GrimmZ
Summary: Yet another ninja play, we still dont know what they're about. Now the team needs to save Konoha and Suna from war with their mad acting skills! Taking swings at Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and more [ShikaTema]Sequel to Something Like That
1. The Boy Who May Have Lived

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto, or Harry Potter.

**Nothing Like That . . .**

**Prologue . . . The Boy Who May Have Lived**

**Konoha . . . two years after the start of Naruto 2 . . .**

The stage-er street was completely dark as the two Shinobi emerged, "Is it true?" One of them demanded.

"That the Potters were killed? Yeah. Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Uh . . . well yeah, but I was talking about the rumor that we'd be getting a pay raise . . ." The female shinobi said, scratching her cheek. "So . . . was it "he whose name is too hard to pronounce?"

"None other than." The male ninja said gravely.

"Yeah . . . that's terrible. So anyway about that pay raise?"

"The chosen one . . . has been . . . chosen." The man said calmly.

"Are you dodging this question?" The woman demanded.

"Any minute now the chosen child will arrive . . . and his legend will begin."

"You are, aren't you? Typical, just like when I started talking to you about marriage!"

The man blinked, "What? Anko that's not in the script!"

"I'm through playing around Kakashi, either cough up a ring or we're through! I can find someone else!" Anko warned.

"You can't be serious." Kakashi groaned, holding his head. "Anko, this is more than just a play, remember?"

"Ooh, our mission to save all Konoha is in danger because I'm demanding commitment, is that what you're trying to say? Ooh I'm ruining Konoha's chances of survival by demanding a ring, look out!" Anko said folding her arms, "I'm not speaking another line until you cough up a ring."

"Uh . . . Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked.

"Keep your personal problems separated from your work problems Mitarashi." The fifth sighed from somewhere off stage.

"Not until I know whether or not my last few years have been wasted on this man." Anko said firmly.

"Any time spent pursuing Hatake is a waste of time, Mitarashi, and it shouldn't affect you ability to perform this mission, you're a Jounin aren't you?"

"Am I?" Anko scoffed, "I've been a Special for quite a few years now."

There was an awkward pause and the sound of someone shuffling through papers, "Oh! Well . . . starting now you're a full Jounin so act like it."

"Well now then since I've been promoted Kakashi you should get me a present, how's about oh I dunno, a _wedding ring_!? Eh Kakashi? Uh . . . Kakashi? Where did he go?" Anko demanded, for Kakashi had indeed left the stage.

"All right, bring in the replacement." The fifth said.

"Yes ma'am! Now I, the handsome Might Gai will whisk you off your feet, here is my ring of-"

"I'm not interested in _you_ so back off!" Anko screamed, "Eyebrows! I can feel them undressing me in their minds!"

"My eyebrows do not have minds of their own . . . but they do sometimes undress women, I'll admit." Gai sighed.

"Mitarashi you are _not_ required to date Gai, there is no romantic scene at any time between your character and his, stick to the script!"

"I cant, they're staring at me!"

"Blast it Anko they're not staring at you!" Tsunade, the fifth Hokage screamed.

"We will migrate to her head, and be beautiful." The left brow said.

"What the heck?" Tsunade blinked.

"Move us servant, we demand migration!" The right brow commanded.

And so Gai ripped his eyebrows off and threw them at Anko.

Kakashi suddenly appeared and intercepted them, they slammed into his face, and cried "No! Lefty we've been deflected! Lefty?"

"I've been stuck to the forehead protector Righty! I'm dying!"

"No! My beloved brows!" Gai wailed.

"Uh . . . they did it better this morning, Madam Hokage." Shizune consoled the fifth.

"No . . . no they're no good Shizune." Tsunade said.

"But what else can we do?" Shizune asked.

Tsunade closed her eyes and sighed, "There is one other option . . ."

"But Tsunade-sama, they're only children!" Shizune cried, "You and the Kazekage agreed this mission could only be carried out by the very best Jounin our villages could spare!"

"They are ninja . . . and they are the only ones who can perform this task . . ."

There is a dramatic swell in the background music as Shizune nods, "I understand Tsunade-sama . . . I will summon-hey, cut that out!" She screams.

"Oops! My bad . . . I was just trying to affect the mood, you know?" The orchestra leader said, waving his stick and silencing the band.

"Anyway I'll call _them_ in."

"Yes Shizune . . . summon . . . the Yamanaka Talent Troop . . . they are our only hope." Tsunade sighed, feeling exhausted just acknowledging that she'd have to put the fate of her village, as well as the village hidden in sand in the hands of a bunch of teenage shinobi who'd displayed little to no real acting talent whatsoever when they tackled and slaughtered the classical Ramon and Julia play three years ago . . . (read _Something Like That . . . _for details) but for this particular mission . . . perhaps the hairbrained antics of the Talent Troop were exactly what Konoha needed.

Tsunade glanced at her elite Jounin, Gai was curled up in the fetal position weeping for his eyebrows as Kurenai and Ebisu tried to pry them off of Kakashi's face and forehead protector while Anko hugged him and said "I knew you cared!"

"Don't take it the wrong way. I just don't want people to think I was dating a female version of Gai." Kakashi grumbled. "I'd rather die."

"So that's it huh? Well if that's how you feel I'll just kill you right now!"

"My eyebrows! My eyebrows!" Gai moaned on the floor.

"We're working on it, you idiot!" Kurenai scoffed.

"Lefty! Lefty hold on! We'll get you home Lefty!" The right eyebrow screamed.

"I see a light Righty . . . it's so beautiful . . ." The left eyebrow sighed.

"G-go . . . go into the light Lefty . . . I'll never forget you . . ."

"NNNOOOO!" Gai wailed.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. Yeah, okay . . . maybe the teenagers wouldn't be so bad . . . after all they were still children so . . . they didn't worry about things like wedding rings and eyebrows.

Right?

**Somewhere nearby . . . but not in a grocery store . . .**

"It's real and official." Shikamaru said, trying her hide his nervousness as Temari looked into the box he'd given her for her twentieth birthday.

She looked annoyed and shut it, and stared at it as if the thing in that little box had somehow confused her. Shikamaru was thinking a mile a minute-which for him was almost normal anyway-and quickly said "It's no big deal . . . if you don't want it." She stared and remained silent, thinking. "But say something, don't be so troublesome." He said, trying to force an annoyed response from her.

How she hated it when he said "troublesome"

She opened Shikamaru's box again and looked inside. She took a deep breath, "You're just a kid, you can't give me one of these." She said.

And there it was, once again calling him a kid, like she always did when she was uncomfortable. If she was content she teased him about mentally being even older than she was, but when she got nervous she always had to go and pull rank with her age.

"Look if you don't want it I might be able to get my money back." Shikamaru said, annoyed buy trying not to let his disappointment show through it.

But Temari hid the box in a pocket, "No you already gave it to me, you can't take it back!" She said, "Are you serious though? I mean . . . you want me to-"

"Look Temari, we've been together a long time, right? I mean as friends and . . ." Shikamaru shook his head, this was going to be a real drag, "well I'm running out of excuses, running out of lies. They're not doing any good anyway, Naruto's such a loud mouth everyone knows what we are to each other. So we might as well make it official." He put his hands in his pockets, "Look, if you don't want to that's fine too. I can think up a few more lies, a few more good excuses to spend time with you . . . but it's getting troublesome."

Temari stared at the box again, taking it from her pocket and opening it up just a crack and peering inside. What was with her? How many times did she need to see it? "Shikamaru . . . I . . ." she began, but trailed off without really saying anything.

"Are you going to wear it or not?" Shikamaru asked, trying to hide his nervousness with impatience. Something like this shouldn't be making him nervous! This was such a simple matter really, either she'd wear it or she wouldn't. It shouldn't even bother him if she said "no" after all.

"Yes!" Temari snapped, then frowned slowly, "I mean no . . . no I mean yes but I . . . well yes I will but . . . it's complicated."

Shikamaru stared at her. Why should it be complicated? "It's as simple as this: Can you see yourself being happy with this . . . if it makes you happy what else matters?" Shikamaru sighed, "I mean you practically live here anyway."

But was that by choice? Shikamaru hadn't yet figured that one out. Temari had requested a job as Ambassador to Konoha, and it'd been granted by her brother, the Kazekage. But why had she done it? He couldn't figure her out, no matter how much time he spent with her.

And he spent quite a bit of time with her, since he'd been appointed as her tour guide and body guard for the past year, regardless of his attempts to regain his freedom Tsunade-sama would just laugh and tell him to get back to guarding the ambassador.

She was starting to blush, which meant he was embarassing her, or she was really angry but either way she usually got pretty upset when he made her blush, and punished him rather violently . . . but she was so cute when her cheeks started to-"Shika-kun . . ." She said, interrupting his thoughts, "I'll wear it . . . but you can't just throw it into my lap and expect me to accept it." She handed him the box, "I know you're lazy but there is a proper way to do this and I'd like you to do it properly."

Was this another one of her little games? Do it properly? What was the proper way to do this? "Do I have to? You know what this is, you know what it means." He said to stall as he tried to think . . . now how was this supposed to be done?

"If you don't want Kamatari to bite your ear off, you'll do it properly." Temari said simply.

Shikamaru groaned, "All right." He'd have to take a wild guess. He'd seen his dad do this for his mom on their aniversary . . . and his usually volitile mom hadn't exploded on his dad so he figured this was pretty much the proper way to present a gift such as this.

So he got down on one knee, and cleared his throat, "Temari I-" he began but stopped suddenly as someone came running towards them!

"Shikamaru! Temari-san! Hey!" Ino screamed.

Shikamaru had never been happier to see Ino. She reached them and bent over panting and holding her stomach. She held up a hand, telling him to wait as she caught her breath.

Shikamaru stood up and dropped the box in Temari's lap, "Wh-what is it Ino?" He demanded, glad that he could move on. Temari had agreed to wear it, there was no proper way about it as far as he knew so . . . he'd gotten off totally home free.

Right?

Ino looked up, still gasping for air, "Hhhh-ho! Hokage! Hokage wahhhnts-" Ino gasped and held her side.

"What does the old bat want?" Temari demanded, "Do you have any idea what you've just interrupted?"

Ino looked surprised, "No . . . what were you two doing?"

"Nothing!" Temari screamed, "Mind your own business, deliver your message and then leave. Leave or so help me I'll-"

Shikamaru smirked at her as he put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. She blushed furiously and turned away. She was so cute when she blushed, even though right now she was probably homicidal . . . "Just kidding." She grunted.

Ino gasped for air a few seconds more then finally said "Temari-san, Shikamaru, I've got great news! Great news indeed, the Hokage, lady Tsunade has summoned us to her office."

What did the old bat want? "Us? The three of us?" Shikamaru asked.

"Us . . . as in all of us. The entire Yamanaka talent troop." Ino said with a grin, "I hope you can remember how to rhyme, because we're about to perform a play that'll go down in history! The Kazekage and the Hokage need us and our special talents!"

Oh boy. Shikamaru's feelings of gratitude towards Ino disappeared . . . now he kind of wanted her to stop existing. Was she seriously suggesting he and Temari rejoin her little actor's troop? The one that had been disbanded three years ago because it was stupid and pathetic and boring?

Ino ran off without another word, probably to search for more former members of the talent troop. Shikamaru turned back to Temari but she held up a hand. "No . . . let's wait until after this new mission is accomplished . . . then we'll deal with _this_."

Shikamaru nodded, relieved since he was pretty sure he'd been doing it wrong anyway, and offered her his hand. She stared at him for a moment as if she expected some kind of trick, but eventually she took it and they headed for the Hokage's office.

So the talent troop was back together, and about to be sent on a mission by the Hokage and th Kazekage . . . probably it'd be humiliating or extremely dangerous . . . why had he bothered to wake up today?

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Take Note:** Yeah . . . no rhyming yet. That is because the Talent Troop has not yet begun their play, no worries this story will have rhymes. The opening with Anko and Kakashi was a very badly done spoof of Harry Potter, but I am quite happy with it. You may feel cheated as the second half of the story was pretty much just the same as the ending of the final Aftershock for "Something Like That . . ." but this time it was Shikamaru's POV so . . . yeah. Anyway story gets better once the actual play starts, enjoy and remember to review!


	2. Roadies!

**Nothing Like That . . .**

**Episode II**

**Roadies?**

"Alright! We get to be in a play?" Naruto cried. "I want to be the action hero, believe it!"

"Sit down. Shut up." Sakura said calmly, "The Talent Troop is a serious organization Naruto."

"Yeah . . . also we don't do action." Ino said.

"What are you talking about? Last time we did a play Temari nearly killed Shikamaru!" Kiba cried, "It was _awesome_!"

"Well it wasn't an action play, it was a romantic play . . . that you guys totally screwed up." Ino said.

"Too right!" Temari nodded.

"But . . . it must have been good because you two hooked up afterwards." Kiba said.

"W-we're not together!" Temari coughed.

"Don't spread lies, Kiba." Shikamaru added.

"Oh shut up, everyone in the village knows you two have been shacking up for nearly a year!" The Fifth Hokage cried.

Naruto frowned, "So . . . what's the play about?"

The fifth frowned. "I haven't got a clue. But let me fill you in on the _situation_ . . . The Daimyo of the five great nations will be gathering in the land of thunder this year, near the village hidden in clouds. As it happens we have received word that _someone_ plans to assassinate all the Daimyo. Lord Kazekage and I have both agreed that the best course to take is to have a group of ninja in place to stop the assassination attempt. Unfortunately the daimyo of the land of wind hates shinobi, he has refused to allow the meeting to occur unless shinobi presence is kept to a minimum, the others have all decided to humor him. Your mission, Talent Troop, is to infiltrate and use your skills to find the assassins all while posing as a mere . . . talent troop. You will perform a convincing play and entertain the daimyo. Luckily the Daimyo of the land of fire witnessed the last play and is willing to suggest you all to his comrades, leaving out the little detail about you all being Shinobi. Are we clear?" Tsunade demanded.

"No." Naruto said, cleaning out his ear. "I didn't hear a word of that. You want to repeat it?"

"Not really." Tsunade said.

"Please?" Naruto begged.

"Your teammates can fill you in." Tsunade assured him. "Now go!"

Naruto saluted, "All right! Well lets see . . . what's the play about?"

"I don't know." Ino admitted. "But . . . I did have this idea for a romantic comedy . . . so maybe we can try it out?"

"I don't think it matters as long as everyone remembers how to rhyme." Kiba said.

"And that's why I wouldn't call it the Yamanaka-Inuzuka Talent Troop Kiba, you contribute _nothing_!" Ino cried.

"I contribute _everything_!" Kiba protested.

* * *

"Another round, over here." Kakashi yawned. 

"I cannot believe we got . . . fired." Anko groaned.

"We're not fired, our mission was just given to someone else." Kakashi said.

"Well I don't think Hokage-sama appreciated our little joke." Kurenai said glumly.

"I can't believe I let you guys talk me into shaving my eyebrows for that." Gai grumbled.

"We didn't talk you into anything, Kakashi shaved them off while you were asleep." Kurenai pointed out.

"Yes . . . but still . . ." Gai grumbled, looking at his reflection in a hand-held mirror, "Do you think they'll grow back?"

"Idiot." Kurenai scoffed.

"Just keep wearing the fakes ones until they do." Anko suggested.

"But they've got faces!" Gai protested.

"Oh for crying out loud-" Kurenai groaned, snatching Gai's eyebrows off his face and removing their eyes with a fork.

She handed them back.

"And the mouths?" Gai asked.

"Shut up and wear them backwards." Anko grumbled.

"So . . . what about the kids?" Ebisu asked.

"What about them?" Kurenai asked.

"Well . . . they're going to be carrying out the mission themselves now, none of us _experienced_ Jounin for support." Ebisu said, "Furthermore I have it on good authority that the one known as Sai is going to be involved as a replacement for the Kazekage. They will need experienced Jounin, not a gaggle of Chuunin."

"And it _is_ a crucial mission." Anko agreed.

"That's easy." Kakashi said.

"What?" Kurenai demanded.

"We go with them." Kakashi shrugged.

"Wait a minute, what do you mean "go with them?" Ebisu demanded.

"Take a week off to pursue our lifelong dream . . . follow around the famous Talent Troop that we've all had an infatuation with since their first performance."

"You're a sick man." Anko said, sipping her drink.

"Maybe he's drunk." Jiraiya said, "I know I'm starting to get a little tipsy myself!" He said, throwing a hand onto Kurenai's chest.

The female Jounin looked down at her chest, at Jiraiya's hand, followed it to his arm then back to his shoulder, to his face.

Very calmly she said "This is a tea shop, there's no alcohol in _any _of these drinks."

Jiraiya frowned, "I'm so sorry," he said, he didn't sound sincere.

"Are you going to remove your hand?" Kurenai asked.

"Hmm? Oh I expect so." Jiraiya said.

Kurenai waited a moment, "Well?" She demanded.

"Eh? Oh right!" Jiraiya said, removing his hand from Kurenai's chest.

Kurenai shook her head, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well your idea, follow the talent troop. It's a good one." Jiraiya said, "I'd like to come along."

"That settles it." Kakashi said, "We'll all take marital leave. Anko and I will pretend to get married-"

"YES!" Anko screamed in triumph, "Pay up!" She snapped at Kurenai.

Kurenai scoffed, "He's not _really_ marrying you, he said "pretend."

Anko glared at Kakashi and sat back down.

"Yeah . . . anyway Anko and I, then Kurenai and Jiraiya pretend to get hitched."

"I like this idea." Jiraiya said, "Now by pretend you really do mean "pretend" right? Because I don't really want to be tied down if you know what I mean, but I'm all for the other benefits."

Kurenai groaned.

"And Gai and Ebisu can . . . be buddies."

"Damn it Kakashi!" Gai snapped.

"I knew that was coming, yet I'm still shocked and insulted!" Ebisu snapped.

"You're only pretending." Kakashi said.

"Now when we arrive we'll all have to share rooms with our pretended-intended, correct?" Jiraiya asked, eyeing Kurenai in a manner that made her decide to spill some tea in his lap on "accident" but the Sanin somehow managed to avoid it and take the seat next to her instead, knocking Gai out of it.

"I guess so, for the sake of the illusion." Kakashi shrugged. "We're all professionals, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Hehehe . . ." Jiraiya chuckled.

Kurenai rolled her eyes, "I've got an idea. Anko and I are involved, and you four just start posing as a barbershop quartet."

"Also a good plan." Kakashi shrugged.

"Damn Kakashi, always trying to act so cool, like you don't even care that now you'll be our "buddy" too!" Gai accused.

"I _don't_ care, because we're just _pretending_, Gai. It's for the sake of infiltration." Kakashi said.

"I don't like this idea, I mean I'm not sharing a room with three _guys_!" Jiraiya said. "No, no, no. It won't work . . . unless the rooms are adjacent . . . and we can drill a hole through the wall . . . and you two perform an act of hot girl on girl-"

"_Or_," Anko said, "We can take Yamato and he can make us a wooden mansion with our own individual rooms."

"Another good plan. See, now we're brain storming." Kakashi yawned.

"Might I point out that the hot girl on girl-uh I mean the barber shop quartet idea is my personal favorite? It is better if we do not bring Yamato in on this, better if we involve as few people as we can." Ebisu pointed out.

"No wait! Two barbershop quartets!" Jiraiya cried.

"Genius, the perfect cover for two elite Jounin teams!" Gai cried.

"Yeah, and one can be all female! Anko, Kurenai, and each of you brings a friend!" Jiraiya said.

Kurenai glared, "Okay, can he not come with us?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"He'd be a great asset." Gai pointed out.

"I think I'll take the extra peril." Anko said.

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Note: **Cannot tell you why this took so long, it really was done long ago. By way of apology I now post it with another chapter, and shall endeavor to post regularly as I did with the first story.


	3. Auditioning?

**Nothing Like That . . .**

**Episode III**

**Auditioning?**

Neji scratched the back of his head, "So uh . . . what's my motivation?"

"Tenten." Ino said, answering via microphone from the front row seats of the theater along with the rest of the talent troop as the "acting hierarchy" was established.

"Yeah okay. But what am I aiming for?"

"Tenten." Ino repeated.

"Yeah but what's the whole point of this? I mean you didn't even give me a script!" Neji cried.

"Just rhyme and try to get it on with Tenten!" Ino screamed into her microphone.

"Now by "get it on" you mean just acting right?" Neji asked.

"We'll see where the scene takes us." Ino said.

Neji shook his head. "Uh okay. Uh . . . Tenten my love, with features soft as a dove, won't you join me in matrimony?"

"No, no, marry me, the handsome Rock Lee, Neji is full of baloney!" Lee cried, barging on stage.

"Oh for crying out loud Lee, wait your turn!" Ino cried.

"I thought you liked Sakura." Kiba said, scratching his head.

"I'll never find a girl as beautiful as Sakura-chan, but I, Rock Lee am but a man, and Tenten is built like a dream." Lee admitted.

"Look Lee go away, don't goof off today, or I'll tie you to a crossbeam!" Tenten cried, "You don't want to screw with me, I'm auditioning with Neji, and damn it I'm going to get kissed!"

"Whoa whoa, what's this? Who said anything about a kiss? Damn it Ino I'm pissed!" Neji shouted.

"Okay, okay. Neji you're good, but we need _great_ so you can't be lead."

"Thank you!" Neji cried.

Then Tenten leapt out and grabbed him and forced her lips to his, "I will not be denied!" She cried triumphantly, however she only kissed a log for Neji had used the substitution Jutsu.

"Uh . . . well gee that raises some questions about Neji's sexual preferences." Kiba said, stealing Ino's microphone to make a comment.

"No it doesn't!" Neji and Ino both screamed.

"What the heck?" Tenten demanded.

"Sorry! It's just a reflex when people jump at me!" Neji called from the back row of the audience.

"Fine. I'll come over there and sit with you!" Tenten called sweetly.  
"No, no . . . you sit with Lee. I'm boxed in here between Sai and Naruto."

"Next up to audition, Sai and Naruto." Ino said.

"Oh that frees up the seats!" Tenten said happily.

"Damn it!" Neji cried.

Now Naruto leapt onstage and cracked his knuckles, "All right, all I have to do is rhyme, right?"

"Correct, idiot." Sai said cheerfully.

"All right, what's my motivation? And don't say Sai!" Naruto said.

Ino scoffed, "Duh! It's a romantic play, your motivation is Sakura, you both want her, but neither of you can have her, you're challenging Sai to a duel for Sakura's love!"

"How come he gets _actual _motivation?" Neji demanded but Ino ignored him.

Naruto took a deep breath. "Okay, just gotta rhyme. Here goes! Hey Sai you jerk, Sakura's going to be mine, and you can't stop me!"

Sai stared at Naruto for a minute, what was he waiting for?

Naruto felt he'd done a pretty awesome job with those rhymes, so what was taking Sai so long to come up with his? It was so easy!

"Uh . . . moving on." Sai said at last, "Idiot Naruto so lacking in mind, try to fight me and I think you'll find, that I'm just too much for you to top, so give it up, you might as well stop."

Naruto scoffed. Those rhymes weren't so hot. "Sai you're a dweeb, and you're probably on weed. I don't like you and you'd only make Sakura so sad she'd turn purple."

"Uh . . . Naruto do you know how to rhyme?" Sai asked.

"Why? What was wrong with that?" Naruto demanded.

"It was . . . bad." Sai said.

"I can rhyme real easy!" Naruto said.

"Okay then Naruto, rhyme." Sai said. "Any old rhyme."

"No sweat! Okay here goes! I am Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm going to rule!"

"Okay enough. Get him off stage!" Ino cried.

"Bye Sai!" Naruto waved, but to his shock _he_ was suddenly dragged off stage!

"Okay Naruto, you're going to have to be the props." Ino said.

"_Be _the props?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, you'll be working with Hinata; she was the props last time. Hinata! You're promoted to Head of Props. Naruto is under you!"

"H-h-he's wh-wh-wh-where?!" Hinata squeaked, looking under hear seat all of a sudden.

Naruto scratched his head. What a weird girl.

But she sure did have nice knockers.

Not that that had anything to do with anything.

He spied Shikamaru and Temari just hanging out together and decided to be . . . Troublesome.

He rushed over and sat down between them, "You two any good at rhyming?"

"Better than you." Temari scoffed.

"Not that that wasn't a nice try." Shikamaru sighed.

"So what's up with you two? Aren't you going to play the lead?"

"Not if we can help it." Shikamaru said.

"But it'd be so easy for you. Since you two actually _are _in love it'd be easy to act it out." Naruto said obnoxiously.

"Well I wouldn't say 'in love', I mean we like each other okay." Shikamaru said.

"The _hell _are you talking about?" The older woman demanded, "If you don't love me then why did you give me a-oh right. Yeah we're just friends, Naruto. I don't go for younger guys. Neji's hot though. He _is_ eighteen now, right?" Temari shrugged.

"Wait, wait, wait . . . what'd he give you?" Naruto jeered.

"Go impersonate a dead body." Shikamaru said darkly.

"He gave you something romantic, didn't he?" Naruto insisted.

Temari blushed and shook her head, "I-he did not! And it's none of your business. Hey, when did you suddenly believe you could _speak _to me? I'm a Jounin, salute damn it!"

"You're from Suna so it doesn't matter." Naruto said, jabbing Shikamaru, "How about you?"

"I'm a Jounin too . . . salute, Naruto." Shikamaru smirked.

"Since when did we start saluting anyway? We're all part of the Talent Troop, right?"

"True. Very well then my darling, should we tell him?" Temari asked.

"If we tell anyone we should tell Gaara first." Shikamaru said.

"Yes. Now let us assume you don't want to _die_, I think we can tell Naruto, he's one of your friends."

"You mean I'm not your friend Temari?" Naruto blinked.

"No." The woman said flatly.

"Oh all right. Tell him. But afterwards I get to tell Chouji."

"Fine, but I'm telling Tenten too."

"Then I get to tell Neji."

"We can tell them both at once and get Lee in at the same time." Temari said.

"If we assume Lee will tell Sakura then Ino will know too." Shikamaru reasoned.

"Assume nothing. You tell Ino, I'll talk to Sakura."

"Okay, so what about me?" Naruto said. "Is either one of you going to tell _me_?" Naruto demanded.

"Oh right. Naruto . . . Temari and I are having a baby. She's been pregnant for the last ten months." Shikamaru said.

"Oh sweet!" Naruto cried, "Name the kid Naruto, I demand it--hey wait, ten months?"

"Yeah. Something wrong with that?" Shikamaru smirked.

"You mean weeks right?"

"No, I said months." Shikamaru shrugged.

"It's freakin' impossible." Naruto said. "Fine, you won't tell me I'll figure it out myself!"

"Go for it." Shikamaru said with a grin.

"Lets see . . . she isn't pregnant or you'd never have said it . . . but it's something that's going to piss off Gaara, even I take it, with his new nice guy attitude?"

"Oh yeah." Temari nodded.

"You're getting married." Naruto said flatly.

"Sure. Why not." Temari waved a hand in the air.

"Damn it, that can't be true either or you'd deny it!" Naruto cried.

"Temari! Shikamaru! Stop playing with Naruto and get on stage! I want you to show them how it's done!"

"How what's done?" Temari demanded. "Are you asking us to have sex on that stage?"

"What? No . . ."

"Are you sure? Because we can." Temari said.

"Temari." Shikamaru grumbled.

"Just get down here and rhyme!" Ino screamed.

"Yeah, you heard **The Ino**." Kiba said, rolling his eyes.

"**The Ino** . . . hey I like that!" Ino cried

Naruto sat back and watched as Shikmaru and Temari got on stage. "Okay . . . so what's our motivation?"

"Just don't perv it up, Temari!" Ino cried.

"Right. Okay . . ." Temari yawned.

"Oh Temari dearest, I'm happy when you're nearest. Your love completes me, but I hate plays completely."

"Very funny!" Ino screamed.

"That's great Shikamaru honey, but I need some money-"

"You're not a prostitute!" Ino screamed.

"Uh . . . okay I've got nothing." Temari shrugged.

"Noting, oh I think not. I mean you're terribly hot, and rhyming has always been so easy." Shikamaru assured her.

"Yeah but perversion makes it funny, so I demand money, without jokes romance makes me queasy." Temari said.

Naruto shook his head, "Boo! You guys don't even rhyme!"

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Little Note:** I cannot wait for the first Scene Prep and the beginning of the play. If only Ino could decide on what it should be about.


End file.
